Being a new mother is fatiguing and stressful, but we add onto this a heap of our own inner baggage of being perfect. The stress from our heavy inner beliefs weighs on us, leading us to being chronically tried, but still not good enough.
To change this, the first place to start is to take a look at your beliefs about what a “good” mom does. Is it some version of a “super mom?” Are your expectations of yourself out of alignment with the deeper needs of your body or your spirit?
We’re hooked on being tired!
In some countries, particularly the US, we are addicted to being overloaded, overbooked and tired. We think a successful life and being a good mom means being busy with constant activity, achievement, and “to do” lists. Tiredness seems to be like a trophy that we’re doing things right!
Change your vision of what a “good” life, and a “good” mother means.
Choose to learn how to cultivate peace of mind and well-being as a priority in your life. Whenever you have decisions to make for your child and family, ask yourself, Is this choice creating a life with breathing room, or would this add stress and overwhelm me? This skill, and it is a skill, becomes more important when you are a new mother. It is also the groundwork for the rest of your mothering life.
When you value peace of mind and wellbeing, it becomes a compass, a guide to help you create a life with more ease and vitality. Without this compass, you will make choices that drain and deplete you.
For me, changing motherhood stress is hard because I tend to always feel I need to give more and do more. Even when I already feel like I’m running on fumes. I have a hard time saying Yes to my own needs. And always feel like I’m responsible for helping the whole world. When I try to simplify, it feels uncomfortable. I am accustomed to stress! I don’t feel “normal” unless there is overwhelm.
In my life, I need to consciously and purposely adjust so my intended outcome of health, happiness and peace are able to take root. If something isn’t working, I give myself permission to change it. It’s not always clear how, and sometimes I can’t make that change immediately. But I maintain a vision of what I want. Feeling calm, energized and content are among my core values. I believe creating more simplicity in your life starts here, making it a core value. If you don’t, everything else will run the show.
Make peace of mind and well-being one of your core values. Decide to be intentional about how you face the stress of motherhood throughout the rest of your life, but especially new mother stress. This is a gift to yourself.