Hugging Meditation for New Parents
As parents of a new baby, finding ways to create more connection and intimacy between each other can seem like the last thing you have the time or energy for. For new parents, I like simple marriage tips that can be implemented without big investments of time. What my husband and I have tried recently to help bring us closer together is “hugging meditation.”
Hugging meditation is regular hugging. The only difference is that the hugging is longer and you both feel for each other’s breathing and try to sync your breath with one another.
The real benefit comes when you keep hugging past when your mind says “get on with the next thing” and you bring your attention to relaxing and simply connecting. Hugging mediation doesn’t rely on any talking or processing. It cuts straight to the core of creating a feeling of connection directly body to body.
If you do this together, being aware of each others breath, there will come a moment where both of you will sigh and feel a letting go or relaxation response. This is when you can let go.
Sometimes hugging longer than your normal squeeze can be tough, and one or both of you may not want to do it. Maybe kids are calling for your attention or you’re thinking of what to do for dinner or still in work mode. That’s alright. It’s simply something to notice. Just observe why it’s hard and keep breathing together anyway. It’s like a meditation. Observing and breathing what is happening simply as you are hugging one another even if what you experience is lack of connection.
While “hugging meditation” may sound silly, it’s a good way to explore deepening your connection with your partner, right here and now. Don’t underestimate the power of both touch and slowing down. It’s more powerful than one would think. It’s also great for when time is short and you and your partner need something to bring you closer.
Mari is a licensed practitioner of Chinese medicine, a singer/songwriter and the creator of Mamashine. She is also a survivor of postpartum depression. Mari lives with her energetic son, her husband and various animals in Austin, TX.