Herbs are wonderful allies for holistically addressing postpartum depression. A great place to start is the herb St. John’s Wort. St. John’s Wort (Hypericum perforatum) is considered one of the best Western herbs for mild to moderate depression. It is also the most studied and widely used herb for alleviating depression, and is used extensively in Europe as a first line of treatment.
Among every good parent’s worst fears is making that one bad decision, missing a giant blind spot, and getting it all wrong—making the kind of big mistake that just can’t be undone, that your child will be talking about in therapy for years. The mistake that will prevent them from living a full, happy life, and ruin their entire future.
If you’re at all self-aware and attempting to be a good parent, such a mistake probably doesn’t even exist. But the fear of parenting failure can be paralyzing and isolating, because it’s hard to know what kind of mistakes other parents are making! Evidence of mistakes is not the sort of thing one posts to Instagram. And in the absence of that knowledge, it’s harder to trust in the resilience of your children and your relationship.
One solution: create a confessional circle. When we parents confess our mistakes to each other, we can better access that place of trusting in resilience. This happens spontaneously sometimes when good friends get together in the right setting, but why not give it a little nudge? Here are some ideas to help you create the conditions for some extra good confessing.
Postpartum anxiety lends to racing thoughts, and a driving compulsion to be constantly moving. Breathing exercises require coordinating movement and breath, a balance that necessitates focused attention and feels like “doing something.” Tuning into the mind-body connection, even for a moment in the midst of chaos, can melt tension as your awareness settles into your breath and your body. Belly breathing is particularly grounding, gentle, and easy. It is accessible anytime, anywhere!
Before we experiment with belly breathing, let’s look at your current breathing pattern.
Appearances can be deceiving. Sometimes that’s a good thing, like when you can grab all the laundry off the couch and toss it in the bedroom before your mother-in-law stops by unexpectedly.
And sometimes it’s a bad thing, like when you finally confessed your crush to the cute barista who always wore the C+C Music Factory t-shirt and he replied that he wore it ironically, and then you couldn’t go back to that coffee shop for the next decade.
And sometimes it’s a downright dangerous thing, like when your friend asks how you’re doing these days and you smile and tell her you’re loving every moment, but silently you’re wondering how you’re going to make it through the week. Or through the day. Or through the conversation.
So the first six weeks have passed. You’re still a new mom, but perhaps you feel pressure to be “back on your feet” and back to “normal”—whatever that means! You need people around you who support your integration process, however long it takes.
Healthy support networks are made of trusted, elevating, compassionate, and non-judgmental people. If you feel unsettled, unheard, or judged in someone’s presence, take space. Here are some considerations for building your long-range uplifting support network.